Exploring the shift from ego driven DOing to Spirit guided BEing.

I had a phenomenal talk with my Higher Self this morning. She lead me to some profound understandings about all sorts of things: romantic partners, sexuality, abundance, flight, healing and writing. I am so grateful to have surrendered to the Goddess– to have surrendered to mySelf. Being away from the story and allowing myself to ease into the peace and serenity of Gaia was the perfect decision.

Please, my Sisters and Brothers, listen to your heart and follow its directives. God/Source/Goddess would never steer you wrong– ever. Do not be afraid to dive into the unknown because your ego (or even worse, other people’s egos) tell you that you’re crazy or that you are wrong. They simply don’t know what’s right for you. Hell, they don’t even know what’s right for themselves. You have the answers to all questions at your fingertips. You just have to tune in and let them come to you.

And don’t worry about being mislead because you didn’t listen to the ‘right’ voice. The Universe will correct you if you become too egocentric. You can decide if it will correct you gently or fiercely. I like to get my lessons fast and hard, but sometimes it becomes too much and I ask the Universe to lighten up. It responds immediately!!!

If you want to learn more about how to listen to your heart and be more intuitive; if you want to REMEMBER how to be your Authentic Self, then message me. I have just opened the door to being the Healer and Spiritual Life Coach that I have been trained to be. I invite you in with compassion and open arms. My calling is to serve the world community by awakening its members to their Divinity and their authentic lives. I will no longer deny my impulses to create; I will no longer disappear like I have been asked to do. I fully affirm that I Am.




I am committed to expressing the Truth of my experience here and for the last few days, I have been wrecked.  So I am going to share it because this is a key aspect of my own personal healing and a stepping stone along the path of Self Realization.

I spend my days in peace and solitude.  I have a beautiful business with a remarkably loving staff and a loyal and generous clientele.  I do not have a lot about which I complain because I’m a trusting soul who has chosen to surrender her attachment to the material.  My reward is peace and inspiration.  This does not mean, though, that I don’t encounter a mass welling of bullshit from my own depths.  I’m not going to make this a long entry, but this is the beginning of something big and is the first in many posts to come.  I invite you to join me on this journey.

I am not the only person who despairs at the hands of their mother.   It is an age old conflict that is resolved and re-aroused, resolved and re-aroused.  It is at my mother’s hands that I feel weakest.  And what hands they are:  big, brown, strong hands that used to sting like the dickens when they smacked my face.  Big, brown baseball mitts with perfectly manicured nails are my mom’s hands. But the hands are not the problem.  The slapping is not the problem.  (Although, I do wonder what person in their right mind slaps the shit out of a child. I know there are lots of people who vehemently suggest that I don’t know what it’s like to be a single parent and to raise a child in the big city.  No.  I don’t know.  But I do know that anytime you slap the shit out of somebody smaller than you, you’re a fucking bully– I don’t care how hard your job is or how shitty your boyfriend made you feel.  Slap a child, kick the puppy, turn your head while you see it happening at your neighbor’s house.  Justify it in your mind and heart and feel free to voice your opinion because I sure as hell am voicing mine.  And there are those who will say, well, your mother made you into the person you are today.  And I say, yes.  I am grateful for who I am today.  I love myself dearly which is why I am speaking up for my inner child who could not express herself when she was was being made to feel like she was a burden who does not deserve to occupy space.)  But the slapping is not the real problem today.  The real problem is how the slap was processed and did not reverberate through my body, but rather stuck in my body.  The slapping and the mean statements are meant to pass through the body and be released to the angels for transmuting.  But what I did and what countless other people do (and what a child right now is doing) is take all that anger from my parent and store it in my body.  You see, I got slapped, was told I was stupid and then my guts and my body got really, really hard and held it all in. I was told that if I cry, I would be given something about which I would REALLY want to cry.  And I avoided that shit like the plague.  So instead, I kept the energy inside.

And then sometimes Mama would be on to the next thing– her anger released and her big beatific smile lighting her perfect face and all would be well and funny and warm and how was your day?  And other times, she would remain in a state of pissed-off for days.  Standing at the stove, tending dinner, getting dressed for work, sitting on the sofa watching television, a look of utter peevishness and dissatisfaction on her face.  And I would stay clenched for those days.  Jaw clenched and tongue thrust forward expressing the scream lodged in my throat.

I clenched my teeth to brace for the blow.  I clenched my neck and shoulders to keep myself upright.  My tummy clenched.  My butt clenched.  My twat clenched.   My breath held.  And I would clench my heart to hold back my anger because if I released it, I would beat the shit out of her and I would tear up the whole house and I would kill her and my beloved birds and destroy my beloved Snoopy and Raggedy Ann.  I held back my anger and my sadness and I would not speak of the sadness and despair to anyone because I was ashamed of my existence.  And so I clenched my being and my story and my desires and my perspective. I had no voice– not for how I felt.

Even as I sit and write, my tongue is thrust forward, misaligning my teeth and I can feel the pain of the girl holding back the scream that wants to be screamed.

And my mother is not the issue.  Not anymore.

This pain I suffer is from my own cowardly demeanor which creates an illusion of composure and calm when really I feel appalled and bored by the meaningless drivel that snakes its way into our conversations in the guise of psychology, but is in fact petty gossip.

Who am I?  Why am I afraid to express my True Self?  My voice is choked with anger and frustration and if I could just express feelings to her, then I could free myself from this prison I’ve created.

When did I become so damned chicken shit?    Where is my voice?


IMG_1209One of my greatest blessings is my Studio.  I am particularly enamored with it recently since I have decided that it is time for me to make a transition.  This place is magical.  There is so much sweetness in its many vignettes.  I was in between clients and this view caught my eye.  Shellsea’s bicycle with the sun shining so brightly is a lovely contrast to the quiet, soft light coming in through the front doors.  Amity’s potted plants add a romantic quality when viewed through the window panes.  And that great tree outside makes it feel like a tree house.

IMG_1211I started burning incense outside a few years ago.  It was my way of luring in the positive energies that enjoy smokey pleasures.  I didn’t know that I would attract a pot dispensary next door!  Be careful what you go attracting, Ms. Bell.

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This morning I awoke with a start.  Shoes were pounding on the stairs outside and the sound of the rain became louder and more pronounced.

Boots on the doorstep of my grandmother’s house.  Thick with mud, but solid in the rain.  The day so gray and divine.

The time of day is not important.
What is important are the boots.  Thick and husky.
So solid in the rain.
The boots of my father– his story; his ambitions; his drives.  So protective.

But of what?  Himself?  His soul?  His heart.
Protected by a thick husk of callous warts.
A virus gone amok is his protective coating.
His palms, so withered and so protective that he has lost all track of me.
Of his daughter– his first born.
His soul.

I hold it– his soul.
I hold his soul in my soul.  I hold his heart in my hand.
And it flourishes.

Like me, it flourishes in the rain in the space outside my grandmother’s door.
In the opening where it all begins.

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About Spiritcentric Awakening Massage and Healing…

Stairway to heaven

Awakening Massage and Healing

A massage steeped in ceremony that awakens your every cell to the memory of its Divinity.  You are lead in a relaxing meditation while powerful clearing and purifying energies are invoked to guide and support us on this journey of your awakening and remembering.  Rich woods of cedar and the leaves of sage are used to calm the ego and make way for the awakening of Spirit in the flesh. Ancient fragrant oils are massaged deeply into body to awaken and stimulate cellular memory while you connect deeply to your Higher Self and embrace your Divinity.  A powerful ceremony meant to leave you feeling relaxed, uplifted and powerful in your connection to Source.
90 minutes $150

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First Fridays Tarot and Tea:  The First Friday of Every Month at Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio


What does 2013 hold for you?

First Fridays Tarot and Tea!

This event is free!

This month is all about Tarot and Reiki!  Join us for free tarot readings and Reiki sessions from 5:30 to 8:00pm.  Sign up in advance to have priority sessions or just show up!

About First Fridays Art Walk in Bixby Knolls…

On the first Friday of every month, the businesses of the Bixby Knolls neighborhood of Long Beach host an Art Walk. We call it, First Fridays.

The mission of First Fridays is to promote and support local artists and musicians by providing them with an outlet to showcase their work. Every first Friday night of the month, participating Bixby Knolls businesses will unite to promote local artists and musicians through extended operating hours. In doing so we hope to encourage a dialogue between businesses, artists and the community.

This is a wonderful time to visit the Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio space and meet our staff. And of course, to try our delicious organic tea. Here’s a quick glimpse of what we’ll be offering.

~Free tarot readings (until 8:00) Studio owner, Crystal Lynn Bell will be reading tarot cards for free! It is highly recommended that you RSVP and tell at what time you’ll be present for your reading. We have been known to have as many as 15 requests in a two hour period; so those who have ‘ appointments’ have priority over those who do not. The tarot readings begin at 6:00pm and end promptly at 8:00pm. Also, please note that the First Friday readings are not done in private, so choose your questions wisely! 🙂 Usually, we plop down in the middle of the floor, sip our tea and have fun! The readings will be short and sweet. This is our time to relax and enjoy our guests and share our talents in an informal way. Do to the fantastic demand, please arrive early and sign in! Reservations have top priority and then it’s first come, first served.

~Free Face Mapping (skin analysis) Face Mapping: is a revolutionary approach to skin analysis developed by The International Dermal Institute. Using the zones, the therapist is able to conduct an inch-by-inch, methodical analysis of your facial landscape, guaranteeing that subsequent professional treatments and home-care prescription will fully address each client’s concerns. Our Skin Therapists Lilly Foulks and Genevieve Bergdorf will be happy to discuss your skin with you and make sure you’re using the right products to get you the results you desire.

~Free Chair Massage:  Our Chair Massage is offered by our massage therapists and will leave you feeling grounded and refreshed. Healing touch is the BEST way to end a hectic week! We hope that you can join us for this fun event!

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Easy and Effective Meditation Classes


Join us for a series of practical meditations that you can learn and practice immediately.

These will be lovely, simple and you might find that you want to use them every day! These will be:

Mantra, Chanting and Journaling– Using sound, spoken words, and writing to to tap into your spirit, to illuminate your inner self
Zen Meditation and Kinhin (Walking Meditation)– Sitting in silence and walking in silence to allow the calm and the beauty of the present moment to help illuminate your inner self
Guided Meditation– Allowing a narrator to tell you a story to take you on a spiritual journey
Dance and Movement as Meditation– Tuning into the energy that vibrates in your surroundings and in your body to take you on a journey to calm and enlightenment
Chakra Meditation– A systematic way of meditating to access seven key aspects of your life for healing and creating.

Breath work will be a key component to all of these meditation classes. So you’ll learn some great breathing techniques to clear stagnant energy, release negative emotions and reinvigorate, too! I recommend that you attend all the classes so that you can learn the different styles. Really, one of the reasons I love meditation is because I allow myself the freedom to practice them all! Remember, the ultimate goals for meditation is to allow yourself to surrender to the present moment, to relax into peace, and to receive Enlightenment… Or is it to just make you feel good and powerful?  These classes are offered by donation, which means you may pay whatever you feel the presentation, information and experience is worth. Cash or check donations at the door are preferred.
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Communicate With Your Guides:  Learn Tarot– Thursday, January 3, 2013 6:00-8:00pm


Join me for a series of fun classes designed to teach you the very basics of tarot.

Tarot is a time-honored tradition of interpreting a pattern of cards randomly drawn from a deck of 78. Tarot is a powerful tool of illumination which should leave you in an active and engaged state by putting the power of self-improvement directly into your hands.  The symbolism of the card images allows you insight into issues involving relationships, opportunities, and life changes. The messages from your Higher Self will bring you conscious awareness of your power to change or stay on your path!

There are many ways of reading tarot.  This class is going to focus on enhancing your intuition, calming your mind and intensifying your ability to release the resistance that can block communication between your conscious mind and your Higher Self.

This is Class 1 in a series of three individual classes that can be taken singly or as a complete series.  Each class costs $15.

All three classes are entry level and are designed to get you reading tarot cards and enhancing your psychic abilities immediately.

Class 1:  Thursday, January 3, 2013 6:00-8:00pm
General overview of tarot, connecting to your Higher Self and releasing resistance.

Class 2:  Thursday, January 10, 2013 6:00-8:00pm
Working with the Major Arcana

Class 3:  Thursday, January 17, 2013 6:00-8:00pm
Working with the Minor Arcana

Please bring your tarot cards and a pen and notebook to each class.  If you do not have a set of tarot cards, consider browsing what we have at the studio or come to the first class because you will gain insight about finding and choosing the deck you love.  

Each class costs $15.

This class is being taught by Keicher Payne, Founder of Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio.  She is an avid tarot reader with 20 years of experience.  She gives reads professionally for others and for fun for herself.

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About 47 Days of Abundant Prosperity

"Lunaria" I found this image on:  http://bonnireid.com/ExhibitB/2008/12/06/lakshmi-goddess-of-wealth-prosperity/

Join us as we commit to a 47 day exploration of the Abundant Prosperity in our lives.
This is a life-changing workshop welcome to everyone!

Do you awaken every morning feeling rested, enthusiastic and absolutely joyous about your upcoming day? Do you know, without any doubt that you are living your highest potential and experiencing the life of your dreams? Do you see the world as one you have created and revel in its beauty and perfection?

For some of us, the answer is YES! For some, Maybe. And for some, No.

This workshop is an invitation for all of you to walk the path of abundance and prosperity and to live a life rich with a love, passion and depth so profound that your mind, today, cannot even fathom it.Many of us are deeply impacted by the media, our friends and family, and society and often we feel that we don’t have enough resources– enough money, enough love, enough time.As we begin to shift our beliefs from those of lack, scarcity, and limitation to one of abundance, we open ourselves up to new exciting possibilities in all areas of our lives. As we begin to embrace the world of abundance and above all, trust it, we find ourselves able to accomplish amazing feats and make tremendous contributions to our community, and experience that rich depth of passion and love in our everyday lives.The bridge to make this shift begins with a deep look at our belief systems and the guidance to help transform them to beliefs that support and nurture our highest potential. A new set of beliefs emerges and new habits are formed, the old beliefs and attached habits are gently released with the deepest gratitude and respect. The result is a new vision with the clarity and presence of mind to experience the highest vibrations this world has to offer. We will be creating new patterns in our subconscious to help make the shift to Abundant Prosperity and as we do, we start to KNOW that we are abundantly prosperous in our natural gifts and talents, our health, our friends and family, our financial resources, our personal resources, our communities and our Mother Earth. We have opened the door to an amazing new opportunity to live in joy and possibility. And the wonderful thing is that all of this is yours NOW. This workshop will simply help you expand your consciousness to include this Truth: You are abundant.In this exciting and dynamic workshop, we will be using a book by John Randolph Price called The Abundance Book and its set of principles, affirmations and practices. In addtion, we’ll be doing fun exercises and activities to help us connect deeply to our abundance and experience the manifestation of our most dear dreams.Tools you’ll need for this class:
The Abundance Book, by John Randolph Price
-A journal and pen
-Please bring a one or two magazines that we can share to cut and use for our vision boards.We will meet together for eight classes while we participate in the 47 day experience. In the first session we will examine our underlying beliefs and behaviors around the energetics of money, do some creative imagery to see what inspires us and brings us joy, set our intentions as we begin our journey and begin work on our Vision Boards. We will also choose a prosperity partner to support us and celebrate with us as we go through the program. Each subsequent session will build on the last. We will work through the principles and affirmations as outlined in The Abundance Book and share our breakthroughs and revelations. Our 47th day culminates in a celebration and embrace of where we are in the moment and look back on the path we will have traveled over the 47 days.

Use Paypal in advance or credit card, check at the door. Workshop cost does not include The Abundance Book, which should be purchased prior to class start (I recommend Amazon.com for hardback or Kindle version.) Payment arrangements can be made in advance.

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About Spiritcentric Reiki Level 2 Certification and Attunement

healing image

Prerequisite: Reiki I Certification and Attunement and 21 days of Mindfulness Practice*

Reiki Level II Certification and Attunement is a five hour journey into the healing power of Reiki. In this class, we will explore our connection to Source and will help the participants develop a keener intuition and understanding of their role in the healing process. We will also practice our ‘feeling’ nature which helps to develop our intuition and our trust. The class is your next step in experiencing the amazing energy of Reiki and its lifelong source of fulfillment. Topics and practices covered include:

-Deepening the Reiki experience
-Using tools to enhance the Reiki experience
-Hands-on healing sessions
-T’ai Chi and meditative movement
-Studying and receiving symbols
-Distance healing
-Exploring time and space
-Receiving attunement
-Establishing a Reiki practice
-Practice! Practice! Practice!
-Preparation for Level 3 Mastery
-Reiki Level II Certificate for class completionTo prepare for the class and attunement:
1. Please eat a high vibrational diet for at least three days prior to class. This means, lots of vegetables, fruits and whole grains. Avoid meat and dairy, if possible. Do your best! 🙂
2. Drink lots of filtered water for at least three days prior to class.
3. Please wear light colored, comfortable clothing, preferably white.
4. Bring a pen and notebook or journal if you would like to take notes.We will provide written materials to guide you through the class. This will be a highly interactive workshop with a lot of warm, positive energy.The class fee is $225. This class is being offered by Crystal Lynn Bell, Reiki Master and Founder of Spiritcentric and Everyday Zen Relaxation Studio.
Please contact Crystal Lynn in advance of class start to discuss details of Mindfulness Practice if you have not been able to maintain or have not started it or don’t know what it is. She will send you some materials to get you up to speed and ready for class.
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